What a day!

Hi folks!

Please, don't say anything. Don't even think it. I know I'm a slacker. You don't need to remind me because I'm already ashamed.

And to add a little salt in the wound, this post isn't even about all of the truly awesome stuff I've been up to. I'll be trying to get to that later this week before I meet my cousin, Jan, in Kiel for a big, week-long party called Kieler Woche ("Kiel Week," and we're only going for the weekend, not the whole week).

This post is about the incredibly weird/random day I had today. Normally I'm full of great and descriptive words for things, in an attempt to keep you interested and make me sound a little more literate than I actually am. But this time, I'm almost speechless. So here goes:


So school these days has been pretty lax. There is a week and a day left, so many of the class periods are pretty easy going, open-conversation ones. I must also say that most or all of the students have lost any of the little bit of desire they once had to learn and are now completely unruly. I've got absolutely no control is a couple of classes. I've tried anything. But, luckily, I'm to also to the point where I'm okay with just putting my hands up and saying, "whatever, you've all taken your finals. If you don't want to listen and learn, it's your problem."

Anyways. I'm in the class 9A today in the 4th period. Most of the students are great in this class. All year they have, more or less, sat attentively, completely awestruck sometimes, while I tell them about all of the "strange" things in America. Today's class was very easy. Okay, I'll be honest. We didn't do anything. The teacher had nothing planned and everyone was just sitting around and chatting. Four girls were even playing a board game. I did my best to chat in English, but really, at this point it's a lost cause with these kids. After some time, the teacher got interested in one of the students who likes to think of himself as "emo." (If you don't know what that is, look it up.) She started asking him a couple of questions, just simply interested in what it was. While they were chatting back and forth, some of the other students were really antagonizing the kid in question whenever he answered. They would just chime in with snide, rude comments at every opportunity. One student in particular, a Turkish kid, was being the the aggressor in these antagonizing comments. It got to the point where the "emo" kid said something (too fast for me to understand) that basically amounted to a challenge. Like, "want to fight?" Or, "I'll kick your ass if you make another smart ass remark." Something like that. The Turkish kid accepted the challenge. Now, instead of walking around the row of desks to face his foe, the Turk picked up a chair and HURLED it across the room at the other kid! No kidding. This kid, in the middle of class, picked up a classroom chair (they're like, what, 10-15 pounds? Maybe 20?) and tossed it at the kid. And if that wasn't enough, he picked up ANOTHER chair and threw it at his target. By the time chair #2 was being picked up, it kicked into my brain that I should step in. By the time chair #2 had landed, the two students were face to face, doing the "middle school fight." This basically amounts to something that looks half like aggressive hugging and half like terrible ballroom dancing. I hurried over and put the chair-hurler in a full headlock and twisted one of his arms up behind his back and told him, in soft-spoken English, that it would be in his best interest to cool it. And, as quickly as it had escalated, it was over. The two seemingly having forgotten that they hated one another. Five minutes later, class was over and they all left cheerily (probably because they knew they were one hour closer to Summer vacation).

The second strange thing happened to me while I was in the city eating dinner at my favorite Turkish restaurant (I swear there's no relation between the Turkish kid and the restaurant I was at. I just really like their food. If you haven't tried Turkish food, I recommend the Adanas Plate - super good).

I'm quite the regular at this place and all of the dudes who work there know and like me. We always have pleasant conversations and a merry old time. But today, well, today was different. While I was half eating/half reading my new book (by David Sedaris, he comes highly recommended from yours truly) this crazy looking guys walks in and immediately starts talking (more like yelling) to everyone there. Every person in the building was automatically his best friend. Now, this man was absolutely, positively, flamboyantly homosexual (Achtung! I am not homophobic in any way, I'm totally cool with gay people. I'm just describing this fellow). He had that super homosexual walk that almost looks like he's competitively speed walking in the olympics, but without the heavy arm movement. His legs were like wet spaghetti and his hips bounced from side to side as if he was walking down the runway at a fashion show in New York City. Before he ordered anything (which only ended up being 2 Becks beers) he went around to EVERY SINGLE person in the shop, telling all of us how "sexy" we were, while slapping our shoulders and kissing our cheeks. I managed to evade the first round of cheek kisses, but was sneak-attacked after he returned from a bathroom trip. I'm not, in any way, exaggerating, people. It turns out that this guy is a French Canadian from Quebec and was speaking an English/French/German mix to everyone, regardless of who they were.

"You so sexy!" "Danke schoen!" "Sexy Sexy!" *Kiss on stranger's cheek" "Sexy!"

Again, I'm not exaggerating. This had had to be about 15 drinks deep. Or just really, really, REALLY homosexual.

Anyways, this went on for about 15-20 minutes. All the while, every single employee and customer were laughing/looking around in confusing/completely at a loss of words.

And then, as quickly as the chair throwing began, and as quickly as our gay French Canadian friend appeared, he vanished. Apparently he had a "reservation" in Cuxhaven and had to catch his train.

After he left, no one knew what to say - so we all just went back to eating/cooking food.

I think he said his same was Dominic.
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In other news:


Psyche! I'm done writing. Stay tuned for another post later in the week.

I half-promise that I'll write it.

Ciao!

-Russell